inmatesrunningasylum (c2000-2050)

Does any other self-identified 'opinionator' exist who yells louder than Bill O'Reilly,is as stupidly insipid as Sean Hannity, as impervious to the truth as Chris Matthews,is as over-bearingly condescending as Nancy Grace,more narcissistic and smarmy than Geraldo Rivera,or more worthless than Connie Chung? Help me hold the collective 'media' feet to the fire, have fun playing w/ words and searching for great websites to blog. Door's open, come on in!!

Name:
Location: California, United States

I run on the beach and no one mistakes me for Bo Derek and I'm proud of that; I walk and explore in the redwood forests while moving banana slugs so they don't get squashed by traffic. Love art, esp.sculpture and/or anything with color;all over the map w/music. Talk back to the television and radio...I still haven't figured out how they get those tiny people into the TV/radio.

05 February 2007

Laws of the Natural Universe


LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
 > Too many are true <

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson 's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

\


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Breast Cancer Stamps




We need those of you who are great at forwarding on information with your e-mail network. Please read and pass this on. It would be wonderful if
2007  were the year a cure for breast cancer was found!!!!
This is one email you should be glad to pass on. The notion that we could raise $35 million by buying a book of stamps is powerful! As you may be aware, the US Postal Service recently released its new "Fund the Cure" stamp to help fund breast cancer research. The stamp was designed by Ethel Kessler of Bethesda , Maryland . It is important that we take a stand against this disease that affects so many of our Mothers, Sisters and Friends.
Instead of the normal 37 cents for a stamp, this one costs 40 cents The additional 3 cents will go to breast cancer research A "normal" book costs $7.40. This one is only $8.00. It takes a few minutes in line at the Post Office and means so much. If all stamps are sold, it will raise an additional $35,000,000 for this vital research. Just as important as the money is our support. What a statement it would make if the stamp outsold the lottery this week. What a statement it would make that we care.
I urge you to do two things TODAY:
1. Go out and purchase some of these stamps.
2. E-mail your friends to do the same.

Many of us know women and their families whose lives are turned upside-down by breast cancer.

It takes so little to do so much in this drive.
We can all afford the $0.60. Please help & pass it on.
 



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01 February 2007

Fwd: cold is a state of mind or a mind of state



60 above zero:
Floridians turn on theheat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian &English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal
underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the
heat.
People in Minnesota have th e last cookout before it
gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door
to door. (True!)

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the
Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic moti on stops (absolute zero
on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start
saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.



 


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Fwd: Marketing 101..sort of

 
 
The buzz Word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is, from a woman's perspective:

1. You're a
woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.


2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.  One
of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.


3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.


4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him
and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.


5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.


6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk
him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.


7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.


8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

That's Junk Mail.


9. You are at a party; this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your
ass.

That's the Governor of California


10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended.

That's America.




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