inmatesrunningasylum (c2000-2050)

Does any other self-identified 'opinionator' exist who yells louder than Bill O'Reilly,is as stupidly insipid as Sean Hannity, as impervious to the truth as Chris Matthews,is as over-bearingly condescending as Nancy Grace,more narcissistic and smarmy than Geraldo Rivera,or more worthless than Connie Chung? Help me hold the collective 'media' feet to the fire, have fun playing w/ words and searching for great websites to blog. Door's open, come on in!!

Name:
Location: California, United States

I run on the beach and no one mistakes me for Bo Derek and I'm proud of that; I walk and explore in the redwood forests while moving banana slugs so they don't get squashed by traffic. Love art, esp.sculpture and/or anything with color;all over the map w/music. Talk back to the television and radio...I still haven't figured out how they get those tiny people into the TV/radio.

05 February 2007

Laws of the Natural Universe


LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
 > Too many are true <

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson 's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

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